Dating Can Suck…

Originally posted in Jeremy Zawodnys Blog Entry - Dating Class. I enjoyed it so I’m sharing it.

Derek says:

There ought to be a class for people who positively suck at talking to members of the opposite sex.

And then continues with:

I mean, let’s presume for the moment that you were not the sort of person to pick up that social skill-set during high-school. Where exactly are you going to learn it in today’s society?

First impressions, especially on the topic of romance, are so terribly crucial, and if you screw it up, it doesn’t matter how much chemistry you and the other person might have had if given the chance, it’ll all be for naught because the first impression will have already been blown.

(See also: I Need To Think Like A Single Guy and Quantifying Derek’s Lameness.)

And then goes on to discuss the problem of today’s “dating scene,” including the lack of any good feedback when you’re rejected.

I certainly feel the pain. Or at least I used to. A long time ago I mostly gave up and decided that anyone really worth spending my life with wouldn’t be the sort of person who’s gonna blow me off after 20 seconds of conversation.

The fact is, every significant dating relationship I’ve had (or could have had) involved first becoming pretty good friends with the person before real dating kicked in (or would have kicked in–but that’s another story).

So that’s my recipe, for better or worse. I don’t really go to bars or parties or participate in the stereotypical “dating scene.” Remember, I’m a geek. I have an aversion to big groups unless I’m standing in front with a microphone. I’d rather stay at home and read something. Or go to a movie with some friends. I really don’t need all the fake pressures, expectations, and other bullshit that goes with the dating scene. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m a little surprised at how many people do put up with it.

Maybe that’s why Match.com and Yahoo! Personals are making so much money? Enough other people are sick of it too.

Of course, living in Silicon Valley and hanging out at the gliderport aren’t the most fruitful ways to meet single women. But that’s life. I knew that (on some level) going into this. And that’s fine, ’cause I’m really not in a hurry. I have no deadlines to meet.

Come to think of it, I’ve really never understood the folks who are in such a hurry to find and hook up with their soulmate. Not to pick on women, but I knew several in college who were in college to “get an Mrs degree” rather than to learn the advanced skills and concepts required to get a nice job. That’s all well and good, ’cause people are free to do what they want. But it always struck me as a little… I don’t know, dirty maybe? Misleading?

Amusingly, none of them are married yet, but most of my other college friends are. Trying too hard, maybe? I don’t know.

dating, relationships, match, yahoo, gliderport, soul mate, meeting women, feedback, romance, chemistry, rejection